Download PDF Wake Up! The Enlightenment of an American Misfit and Outlaw

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However, this time I was committed to getting to the bottom of my behavior and why I felt like I did. So I immersed myself in the process of self-study and change. I read books, I attended personal transformation seminars, I began training in Kung Fu and I started meditating and praying on a daily basis. And gradually, I began to change. I began to look at my life from a different perspective. I realized that no matter what I experienced as a child and teenager, I was responsible for my life NOW. The only way I was ever going to be able to fully receive love was for me to love myself.

I started recognizing all of the amazing things I had accomplished. Just as importantly, I took ownership of everything in my life, good and bad. After that, I began letting go of the hammers of self-judgment. That allowed me to forgive myself and embrace the whole man that I am.

The best part is that now I can accept everyone else where they are on their journey. Those experiences led me to a rewarding career as a writer, publisher and teacher of forgiveness, love and Universal laws. Everything I experienced has been part of my journey. I accept it, love it and am looking forward to the rest of it!


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A story from an ongoing series of story-sharing and expression. Great post, Amber and Paul!


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  7. This is such a unique site with great intentions, excellent. Keep up the positive vibration and good luck with your journey! I liked your web site and think you did a great job on it. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors in your career and of course in your personal life.

    The Atlantic slave trade: What too few textbooks told you - Anthony Hazard

    You are an amazing person and you have a great talent for connecting with people. I know Paul as well. Congratulations, Amber!! Please let me know how I can support you.

    The Best Western Movies of All Time - Paste

    This is a great idea. I totally agree that sharing your history can be a huge contribution to others. It all adds up to a towering work, as profound as it is profane. On the lam after a gold robbery, a group of Confederate army deserters retreats to an abandoned mansion in the midst of a forgotten plantation in order to regroup, tend to their wounded and plan their next move. As the night progresses, the renegades discover they are not alone.

    The ghosts of the plantation owner and his family haunt the manse. Even worse are the creatures prowling the cornfield, which the gentleman owner unleashed during his experiments on his slaves. Magic rituals intended to resurrect his wife instead opened the doorway to demonic creatures who took possession of the remaining slaves as well as his children.

    Romantic Misfits (Palgrave Studies in the Enlightenment, Romanticism and the Cultures of Print)

    The house now acts as a lodestone, drawing corrupt individuals in as fuel for demonic transformation. Unwittingly opening themselves to psychic attack, the renegades are slowly consumed by their individual greed, which turns to mistrust and paranoia that one or several of the others in their gang are working together to abscond with all the gold. You can almost smell the sweat and fear.

    Screenwriter John Milius Apocalypse Now , Jeremiah Johnson took inspiration for this oater from the real-life story of the self-appointed frontier judge. Riders of Destiny Director: Robert N. Bradbury Year: For the next decade, until John Ford resurrected him in as a bona fide screen presence in the iconic Stagecoach , Wayne became a matinee idol in numerous entertaining though mostly forgettable B-movie oaters.

    Riders of Destiny , his first of many for Monogram Pictures, is notable for a number of reasons. As with many of these so-called Poverty Row Westerns of the s, Riders of Destiny is a brisk narrative and high on sensational plot twists. Villains are dastardly, in this case a corrupt savage capitalist played by Forrest Taylor, who intends to steal all of the water from surrounding ranchers, charging them an exorbitant fee for its use.

    And our hero is stalwart and true, here played by Wayne. What makes this singing cowboy more interesting than all of the yodelers who would appear on screen afterward is a simmering violence and darkness within him. The film falls under the same umbrella as movies like Forty Guns and Johnny Guitar , where the cattle baron is replaced with a cattle queen.

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    The good news is that the film is over the top enough to be worth checking out, particularly as it concerns Barbara Stanwyck, who plays the ruthless and calculating Martha Wilkinson with just the right amount of percolating menace, as well as Glenn Ford, playing a fairly prototypical Western hero type with burly brio. If you get flashes of Double Indemnity at the presence of Edward G.

    Maybe this film is done better elsewhere in the Western canon, but The Violent Men is certainly done well enough. Fulci is, after all, the guy who brought us such gory gems as The Beyond , City of the Living Dead , The Black Cat and Zombie Flesh Eaters , and the Western and all its subgenres tends to be a place of high values, higher gestures and little room for ennui. But Four of the Apocalypse is, in a word, sad , a real downer of a film about a card shark, a pregnant prostitute, a drunkard, and a disturbed man who claims to see dead people, each on the run from a pack of murderers.

    So it goes. Healing the rift between an estranged father and daughter is not the first plot that comes to mind when thinking of the great Western film stories. Maggie Gilkeson Cate Blanchett , a small town healer in the New Mexico territory, refuses to reconcile with her father Samuel Jones Tommy Lee Jones when he unexpectedly shows up at her door. Years ago, Jones abandoned her mother to a life of hardship and early death so he could go native with the Chiricahua tribe. He and his band of followers pillaged the countryside killing white settlers and abducting their daughters to sell them into slavery in Mexico.

    The good, the bad, the indifferent and the cowardly exist on both sides. After learning to accept help from those she loathes, her path ultimately leads to reconciliation with the past and the more pressing matter of the salvation of her eldest daughter. James, Cole Younger and their brothers are granted clemency by the Missouri legislature, who views their Robin Hood-style lootings in the sympathetic light of southern peasantry having to adjust to post-Civil War challenges brought about by the triumph of northern industry.

    The bankers, however, do not share these sympathies and hire a squad of Pinkerton detectives to bring the gang to justice. Younger an almost unrecognizable Cliff Robertson , the brains of the operation, wants them all to lay low, retire and enjoy the unexpected freedom that has been granted to them. Jesse James Robert Duvall wants to keep pillaging, latching onto an old Younger scheme to rob a bank in Northfield, Minn. Nothing goes to plan, and things fall apart in an almost comedic travesty of missteps, miscalculations and unexpected interference.

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    Kaufman thoroughly researched his material and offers up his vision of how it really was, with some poetic license, of course. Dustin Hoffman , then 33, aged from 17 to in this ambitious screen yarn about Jack Crabb, an orphan raised by the Cheyenne nation who came of age through various adventures involving a snake-oil salesman, Wild Bill Hickok and, most fatefully, General Custer. As filmic looks at a white man amid Indian culture and community go, Dances with Wolves had nothing on this sprawling, moving epic.

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    Wake Up! The Enlightenment of an American Misfit and Outlaw

    Christoph Waltz is marvelous as Dr. Django Unchained is sickening satire, bloody, uneasily hilarious and entertaining in that Tarantino fashion that squarely divides audiences. The Army, as is its entirely realistic, pacifistic way, is trying to broker peace with the Apaches before shuffling them off to Florida reservations.

    Of course, the white man is right. Needless to say, the xenophobia is rampant. With its overt themes of ethnic and religious cleansing and deeply offensive racial stereotypes, Arrowhead is oft discussed as a McCarthy-era anti-Communist screed. Frankly, the not-so-sub-text is frighteningly apt today.