Nobody wants to talk about it, or recognize it. Many mental health professionals struggle with how to address it. Here are a few things to consider that may be red flags:. As for treatment, the inclination is to treat the behavior. My first therapist, just before I was outed as an escort, instructed me to stop having sex, stop masturbating, stop looking at porn. My husband had been pleading the same. Sounds simple, right? Yet, sex was all consuming for me back then, and utterly impossible to stop given the mental state I was in.
I was perfectly willing to lie and deceive to get my brain what it needed. I knew exactly what I was doing. But denial and irrationality is the mindset, and this is an unhealthy brain at work. Relationships are destroyed in the process.
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Families and marriages are blown up. We may feel a degree of shame after the act, but quickly jump back into the cycle. Anything for the rush. My diagnosis of bipolar disorder along with meds and therapy would eventually bring a degree of clarity after a very lengthy amount of time. This requires education, support and understanding. Because otherwise, we feel embarrassed. We are constantly judged, and feel stigmatized. This is why I speak about sex as it relates to mental illness.
To allow others going through something similar feel less alone.
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To educate and create awareness of a topic rarely discussed. There are so many out there suffering silently. Unsure of why they are doing what they are doing or what they did. Individuals living with bipolar disorder can still have a healthy, vibrant sex life. And remember, hypersexuality is not a symptom for everyone living with bipolar disorder, just some.
Management is everything, and there is effective treatment out there. An educated, understanding support team is crucial. Having a person or people around you who can identify when things are perhaps leaning out of control requires honesty, openness, and education as to what to look for. Self-awareness is crucial as well. We all want to have a healthy sex life. And those living with bipolar disorder certainly can do just that.
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It might just mean the builders chose carpet not realizing people would be urinating in the air conditioning units and in decorative trees in the corners. Carpets sure hold smell. I offer a chapter about how to pick a home; I have done this work so long, I wanted to offer my advice. However, this book is focused on exploring dementia and what its like for love nuggets with dementia to be in homes. If you think about it, we get to leave, and the residents have to stay all night. I know, you feel guilty. I wish I could help you on that one. I think they have books on dealing with guilt. But I can actually make you feel even worse.
Not only do the residents have to stay, but they also have to deal with brain and body issues on top of it. I know, you would not be reading this book unless you did have some degree of guilt. Making the "Right" Decisions All kidding aside, I'm not trying to make it worse. I just want to explain what dementia really looks like and issues that arise with dementia. I think in the end, it will actually help your guilt. I know what you are dealing with — you will hopefully be a pro and make the best decisions for your family.
click There really are no "right" decisions, there are only well thought-out ones. It's weighing all the facts and coming to what is best for your parent. It will sometimes be for situations that seem impossible, probably because they are impossible. You just have to make some sort of decision and go with it. Get used to the guilt and learn to ignore it as much as possible.
Another way I deal with guilt is by trying to build up good karma. I figure I may end up as a nursing home resident one day. I get asked that repeatedly by my patients, "Wouldn't you be depressed if you were here? My thought is that if I am going into a home, I am going to go out with a bang. I want at least one food fight. I will look for a gay nursing home as well, since gay men do the best decorating and party planning. I am also hoping they will legalize marijuana in nursing homes. I will look for a home called Woodstock Nursing and Rehab.
I one day may actually say this to someone to just see their reaction. I am hoping most would want to sign up.
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I would remind them to hook up with a crafty family member who can sneak scotch into your bedside Styrofoam cup. Plenty of homes have bars, but trying to get much alcohol with the eight to ten other medications, you have to take is not so easy. I just believe in what I call "the QQ equation. It actually is the quality of a life versus quantity of life, hence the QQ equation. Let me give you an example of what I mean by this equation in a scenario that comes up frequently.
I have seen diabetics who love chocolate. So say this diabetic keeps eating chocolate and then develops poorly controlled diabetes. Should they stop eating chocolate? Your gut response is: "of course! Now what if they have lost a foot to the disease or a kidney because they have been ill for some time. So at this point, do you avoid all foods that give you pleasure if your quality of life is suffering? What if I am that same diabetic with horrible heart, kidney, or circulation issues?
Does the situation change for you?
Maybe you need to hand over that chocolate nice and slow?